|
The voting age in America is 18, but I think we all know that most of the people who actually vote are in the 50-800 range. I've seen them at the polls. They are the ones who have the time and patience to stand in line at a VFW in order to cast their vote for the important post of head of waste management. And they're the only ones who care. In response to this, MTV and other youth-oriented corporations have tried to get young people to vote (for democrats) in their "Rock the Vote" and similar campaigns. I'm here to speak out against rocking the vote. If you are under 30 and have never voted before, please don't. You see, the well-informed and intelligent young people will go out and vote without encouragement. The young people who need MTV to tell them to vote are not the people who should be deciding my future. When I was in high school I was too young to vote, but there was a senior in my art class who was old enough and was assigned to write an essay about who he was going to vote for and why. His entire essay read, "I'm going to vote for the guy besides Bush because my parents are." This is why young people should not be encouraged to vote. Somewhere aroung 1998 Minnesota had the largest voter turnout in state history, mostly in the 18-35 range. It was the year Jesse Ventura was elected governor. If you encourage young people to vote, they will vote for professional wrestlers. Jesse Ventura was the worst governor in Minnesota history. He ran the economy into the ground and used the governor's office as pure self-promotion. This is what happens when young people vote. So I'll end with a message to the young people. Voting is not cool. If you vote, cheerleaders or football players will never have sex with you. Voting makes you impotent. Voting causes acne. Voters never get into the good fraternities and sororities. You can get herpes from voting booths. So don't even think about voting unless you don't mind killing your social life. |