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Some would say that it is an exaggeration to compare Elmo to Hitler. But is it really? I was born in the late 70's and managed to avoid the horrors of H.R. Pufnstuf, and was raised on the far less emotionally damaging trio of Sesame Street, Mr Rogers' Neighborhood, and The Electric Company. As much as I loved Mr. Rogers' make-believe operas, Sesame Street was always my favorite. The psychadelic counting cartoons. Cookie Monster. Super Grover. Oscar, being very grouchy. Grover spilling food on restaurant patrons. It was great classic television. Nothing was longer than a few minutes, and you never knew what combination of segments you'd get each day. Maybe you'd get a whole episode of Big Bird convincing everyone that Snuffy wasn't a hallucination. Maybe you'd get the count doing his signature dance "The Batty Bat". It you were really lucky you'd get the stop-motion animated thing of an orange with a rubber band mouth singing and dancing in a kitchen. Whatever it was, it was always unpredictable and cool. Then the 90's came. With it, a new theme song and the number one sign of the Street's downfall: Elmo. At first Elmo was great. He was cute. He was silly. Sure, he had that irritating habit of referring to himself in the third person, but we could overlook that because he was just another great, quirky Jim Henson creation. Then came "Tickle Me Elmo". It was the bestselling toy of some Christmas or other. Elmo got cocky. Before we knew what was happening, Elmo was in every segment. He did the talk show and cooking show circuit. He became a mega-star. He changed. On the outside, he seemed just like the old cute Elmo we had come to love. Inside, he was becoming cold and calculating. Now Sesame Street is just a shell of what it once was. Every day is the same. They start with some segment on the street. Eventually, they do a really lame segment called "Journey to Ernie" (which is the only time you'll ever see Ernie, and Bert is all but forgotten). The old classic segments I grew up with are completely gone. Then, 35 minutes into the hour, a horror called "Elmo's World" begins. And every "Elmo's World" is exactly the same. Elmo picks a topic for the day, which he then discusses in broken phrases with his goldfish. He talks about the topic with various people ranging from a mysterious mute named Mr. Noodle to a baby (who invariably just drools and stares at Elmo until it becomes awkward and they move on to something else). The segment (which is between 20 and 25 minutes long) always ends with an idiotic song sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells". It is everything I always hoped Sesame Street would never be: boring, repetitive, irritating and completely lame. Elmo has gone from an occasional character to a regular character, and now to full posession of about 45% of the show. He is creeping through Sesame Street and taking over by force, like Hitler in Poland. There are only two things that can be done to stop it. The first option is the easiest, though not appealing. We could simply kill Elmo and parade his stuffed head around Sesame Street as a warning to any other Muppets who might be getting uppity. The better option is to simply excommunicate Elmo. What I mean is, give Elmo his own show already. Separate him from Sesame Street, and let him continue to perpetrate his "Elmo's World" in exile. Let him be just another Barney or Teletubby. But get his evil red face off Sesame Street. This is the only way Sesame Street could ever hope to reclaim its former glory. As long as the Elmo regime is roaming free all over Sesame Street, the Street can never truly be at peace. |