Places More Interesting Than the MultiPlan Town Meeting I Was Forced to Attend
written during meeting March 25, 2004


  1. A Spanish bullfight
  2. A soy sauce factory tour
  3. A mental hospital
  4. A driver's ed video film festival
  5. A concert featuring "The 12 Days of Christmas" in morse code
  6. An Iowa hog farm
  7. A whale watching expedition in Lake Superior
  8. A dance competition for amputees
  9. A jaywalking trial
  10. A church service entirely in Swedish
  11. Any funeral in the world
  12. A slaughterhouse
  13. Anyplace where people don't use the phrase "going forward"
  14. A pelvic exam
  15. Trapped in an elevator with 2 skinny pale emo kids discussing philosophy
  16. A thimble museum
  17. Canada
  18. In the arctic, curled up inside a dead polar bear for warmth
  19. A soccer riot
  20. An orthodontist convention
  21. A zoo featuring nothing but hamsters and naked mole rats
  22. The number 7 bus at 11:00 at night
  23. A lecture series about COBOL programming
  24. My cubicle, doing my job
  25. A kazoo recital
  26. A dog food factory in Tennessee
  27. A room full of potentially rabid monkeys
  28. Inside a whale
  29. A Roger Corman film festival
  30. A post-apocalyptic wasteland where canned peaches are currency
  31. A Celine Dion concert
  32. A greasy pole contest in Belize



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Alana Muir © 2005