The GirlAlive Blog

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

June 15, 2010 on 5:23 pm | In Life In General | 3 Comments

What do I want? That question is most commonly asked at Christmas or birthdays or whatever. My birthday is two days after Christmas, so I only get stuff once a year. And right now we’re about as far from me getting stuff as possible. Nonetheless, there are things I want. I’m depressed and frustrated and just generally unhappy, and there is a short list of things that would help to fix that.

• A job. Preferably one that doesn’t suck, but I’m not even that picky now.
• For people to stop underestimating me. There’s about a 90% chance that I’m smarter than you (based on my IQ test scores). Please don’t patronize me.
• Amber’s cancer to go away. Because it sucks.
• A shower.
• A dishwasher.
• A normal-sized refrigerator.
• Reasonably-priced health care for Americans.
• Jif peanut butter.
• Quiet neighbors.
• A decent night’s sleep, without constant joint pain.
• A dentist with a soul.
• Some packets of Crystal Light. The only cheap sugarless beverage I can get is water. Or fizzy water.
• A hard case for my concert-sized ukulele.

I’m sure I could think of more things that I want if I thought about it long enough. So if any of you can help me out with this list of things, that’d be great. Especially the first three on the list.

Anatomy of a job scam

June 8, 2010 on 12:09 pm | In Computers and Web Stuff, Life In General | 1 Comment

I’ve applied for hundreds of jobs since last August. Most of them are fine and dandy “normal” job applications. And then there are the ones like this. Here is a screenshot of a response I received to a job application I sent in. (Click to embiggen.)

First, let’s look at the email address it came from. Admin@realfreedeals.info. Does that web site exist? Is it a web site that has reviews of other web sites? No, and no. I checked the Whois information for that domain, and it shows that the website is inactive, and even more suspiciously, it was only registered for one year, expiring in a few months. What about the company quoted at the bottom, Magnum Magazine Media? I can’t find any evidence of this company existing.

So we don’t know who this is, or who they work for. We can guess that they are receiving some kind of referral fee from the site they are making people sign up for to write their “test review”. Or maybe they do have a web site in which they review other sites, as they claim, but they won’t tell the applicant what site that is. So what is the scam? They’re not asking me for money. Just a paragraph.

Back in the 50’s my grandmother ran into a similar scam, but at the time it wasn’t about writing internet reviews. Back then it was advertising for people to sew garments at home for money. I think they were ties. They’d send you a pattern and fabric and you’d have to sew it up and send it back to “test” and see if you were a good enough seamstress to work for them. Everyone failed. But they still had plenty of ties to sell, thanks to all the “test” ties that they got people to sew. This is the same scam.

They say that you have to respond within 48 hours, in order to make sure you don’t have time to research them. They say that is because they get so many applicants. If they have so many applicants who are each sending them a review of a website for free, why would they ever pay anyone £200 a week to do that job? The bottom line is that they won’t. I’m guessing that they never hire anyone, and instead steal your written review and publish it somewhere (which is why they don’t tell you what site they really work for). It’s a lot cheaper to just put out a Gumtree (or Craigslist in the US) ad every week or so, and just see how many free writing projects you can harvest. They’ll never hire anyone. So, no, Robert Moore, I won’t be applying for your “job”.

A look back on British food.

June 7, 2010 on 5:58 pm | In Following Orders, Recipes and Food, Scotland, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Brett suggested that for my whole “tell me what to write thing“, I should do a brief review, five years on, of the foods on my British Food site. Okay. Sounds like an idea to me.

First of all, there is always the question about whether there are foods I have tried but not reviewed. Oh my, yes. I don’t have a camera with me all the time and I don’t always have a notepad to take notes about what I think about food. In short, I’m not cut out to be a full time food blogger. So first, I’ll give a few short reviews of foods I can think of off the top of my head that I’ve eaten and never got around to reviewing on the site. I may do full reviews later, but for now this’ll have to do.

Eton Mess: Tasty. All kinds of tasty.

Pavlova: Just as tasty as Eton Mess. My husband likes toffee pavlovas, but I prefer berries or fruit. Fantastic summer dessert.

Tikka Masala: It is always billed as “Indian” food, but it was invented in Glasgow. I love most Indian food, including Tikka Masala, Korma, Jalfrezi, naan bread, and everything else. You can buy a jar of decent ready-made curry sauce for about £1, and then combine it with rice or cous cous and a can of chickpeas and some veggies for a really good and really cheap vegetarian dinner. It’s usually eaten with chicken (or turkey) but I can’t afford much meat lately, so chickpeas are great too.

Doner kebab: Again, tasty. It’s very similar to the gyros sold in the US, but I think is more Turkish than Greek. The main difference is the sauce. Instead of the creamy cucumber sauces you get in the US, doner kebabs are usually served with a hot sauce reminiscent of buffalo wing sauce.

Anyway, on to the review of the stuff I’ve already reviewed.

Irn Bru: I’ve had a few bottles of Irn Bru over the years. It’s a nice change from standard cola for a caffeine hit. Generally, I go for the diet when possible, which is just as good as the regular, in my opinion.

Oatcakes: I have them now and then with cheese. They’re especially good with aged Scottish cheddar.

Scotch Eggs: I hate to admit that I eat scotch eggs. I don’t eat them often, but now and then I have one. They’re an easy quick lunch when I decide that I don’t care if I die young.

Toad In the Hole: I think I might have made this dish once or twice since the review. It’s tasty. I came up with a great Americanized variation on it a few months ago. I substituted cornbread batter for the Yorkshire pudding batter and hot dogs for the sausages, and it made a tasty sort of corndog loaf.

Mushy Peas: I still eat mushy peas sometimes. They’re good with fish and a healthy dose of vinegar.

Scotch Dumpling: Haven’t touched one since the review.

Jaffa Cakes: They have released all kinds of Jaffa Cake variations in the last couple of years. I’ve tried lemon, lime, raspberry, and blackcurrent. I still like the original orange best.

Christmas Pudding: Haven’t had one since the review. I have had some mince pies, which I guess I should review at some point.

Selkirk Bannock: Not eaten since the review.

Lucozade: When I gave up sugary beverages, I gave up Lucozade, even though I only had maybe 3 bottles of it before then. Last time I had any was when it was used as a measured amount of sugar for a blood glucose test. I think that might have been one of the reasons I gave up sugary beverages.

British hot dogs: No. Never again. They’re an abomination. My husband sometimes buys some hot dogs in a jar, which are squishier than I prefer, but they’re still much better than the cans.

Pickled Onions: I have a pickled onion now and then. They’re pretty good sliced on tuna or cheese sandwiches.

Spotted Dick: I eat a lot of spotted dick. (Done giggling now?) It’s one of those things I don’t eat all the time, but I have to buy it everytime someone from the US comes for a visit. They will not leave my house without trying spotted dick.

Custard: One of my favorite go-to desserts. You can buy little cups of custard, like pudding cups. Easy, cheap and tasty. The low fat versions are good too.

Haggis: Nope. No more haggis for me. I eat a lot of vegetarian haggis. It’s actually very good. But the regular haggis with the festival of organ meat just isn’t my thing.

Smarties: Haven’t eaten these much. I guess I just think there are chocolate options here that are far more interesting.

Lemon Curd: I think I’ve had this on toast once or twice. I should use it more. Maybe on meringues to make mini-pavlovas or something. I have had it as a coating on cheesecake, which is good.

Chocolate Spread: I like chocolate spread. It is great stuff. Yet I still don’t eat it much. I’m a fan of peanut butter, so that is always my first choice.

Bubble and Squeak: Still a good side dish, but I don’t opt for it often. It’s kind of a lot of work.

Flapjacks: I’ve had a lot of Flapjacks, and tons that were better than the test ones. The ones they sell at Julian Graves are fantastic.

Jelly: Nothing against jelly, but we’ve mostly had the pre-made cups of it with fruit because our fridge is too small to fit a big bowl of anything. I seriously miss American refrigerators.

Jamaica Ginger Cake: Had some last night. Drowning in rum sauce. It was good. But there was a lot of rum sauce.

Cornish Pasties: Had some of these a couple days ago for lunch. They’re tasty, but I’ve probably only had them maybe twice since the original test.

Sticky Toffee Pudding: If it’s available and I can afford it, I will eat sticky toffee pudding. I’ve even chosen it over chocolate. It’s amazing stuff.

Yorkshire Pudding: I don’t eat these much, simply because of the fat content, but they are tasty. Yorkshire puddings were a particular favorite of my cousin Raeanne when she visited last year.

Scotch Pies: Can’t honestly remember if I’ve had these since the test. Probably not. I think mostly because there are so many other pies with better crusts here. Like pork pies and cornish pasties.

Branston Pickle: Still one of my favorite things to have on a cheese sandwich.

Marmite: An abomination (unto Nuggan). Satan’s poop. Not suitable for human consumption. And I still don’t care how much you love Marmite. Tell me all about how much you love it, and I will silently judge you. There is something wrong with people who think that Marmite is food.

Piccallili: Don’t think I’ve had any since the test. I probably should. I think I tested it on the same day as Marmite, and so it scarred me against it. Someone served it on The Great British Menu the other day and it looked really good.

Crumpets: One of my favorite easy breakfasts. My favorites are either to have crumpets with peanut butter or melted cheese.

Cranachan: I don’t think I’ve made this since the test. At least not properly. But it is still a fantastic dessert. I would almost prefer it non-alcoholic though.

Meat Pie (in a can): Haven’t had it again, and probably never will.

Weetabix: I’ve had Weetabix a few times, as well as the oat version Oatabix. I found that as much as I wasn’t a fan of Weetabix with milk, it is really good with yogurt. Especially fruit flavored yogurt.

Black Pudding: The cafe here in town serves a full breakfast for about £3, and it includes black pudding. Which I don’t like. I always shove it onto my husband’s plate. It still just tastes like a blood clot to me.

Pork Pies: One of my favorite snack/lunch/picnic kind of things. It’s like Spam in a crust. What’s not to like?

Digestive Biscuits: Not my favorite cookie, but not bad. I recently found some chocolate chip digestive biscuits, and they’re really good. Lower fat and higher fiber than a standard chocolate chip cookie, but full of chocolate chip tastiness. I’ve had a lot of the digestives with a chocolate coating on one side, but I still prefer the chocolate chip ones because they don’t get melty chocolate on your fingers.

So there you go. A look back at all the foods I reviewed, four or five years later. Most of it doesn’t seem nearly so foreign to me anymore. I’d have to say that the number one thing I love about British food is the fact that you can get so much of it that is local. There are so many more small farms and so much more variation than there is in the US. And the British are so proud of their produce and they do their best to produce food that is of the highest quality, not just the largest quantity. I love buying a pack of strawberries, a pork shoulder, and a package of cookies and seeing that it was all produced in Scotland.

What do I miss in British food? I miss high quality Mexican food. I miss Dairy Queen. I miss root beer. But overall, I love British food, and most days I don’t even think about the stuff I’m missing. They have the basic ingredients here to produce food that is familiar to me, now that I’m used to working with the local ingredients.